Kabanata 12
Ang Sinusundan
My eyes opened as the cold air pierced my skin. Still wrapped in the same nightgown, my body moved on its own accord. The freezing bite of the ground underneath my feet crawled towards the rest of me.
Shivers ran down my spine as the moon hovered over me. It looked dimmer than before–calmer, even. The wind caressed the leaves of the trees around me as waves rolled towards the shore.
I let out a breath that made mist form in front of me.
I can hear and feel everything as if a veil has been lifted from my system.
I sighed once again to make sure I am not dreaming in this nightmare. Everything is the same except for my senses. My surroundings appear sharper. The taste of salt from the ocean rolled over my tongue. Frost crept to every square inch of me. The heavy scent in the atmosphere attacked my senses.
I can feel everything as if this is real.
Gumagalaw pa rin mag-isa ang katawan ko pero ramdam ko lahat ng ito. Ako mismo ang humihinga sa pagkakataong ito.
I have been present in these dreams, but I have never actually felt what my body says it feels. I was just a mere spectator. Now... I am its the lead actor. No. Puppet seems to be a better term.
This dream is changing again.
My sight transferred towards the shore. I inhaled sharply as my eyes focused on an unfamiliar figure standing there. A silhouette of a man with his back before me. My vision blurred as tears stung my eyes.
This has never happened before. I am always alone in this part. There has never been anyone there when I am here.
What is happening?
Curiosity got the best of me. I want to know. My body walked towards the beach just like how all my dreams normally flow. Sand shifted underneath my feet as I walked towards him. He was exactly aligned to the spot where I stop to view the moon and the sea for a few moments.
I was only steps away from him when he decided to walk away. He did not even look behind him or stole a glance. He just walked as if he knew I was there. As if... he knew I would follow him.
Warmth enveloped my whole body as I turned my head to where he was going. The familiar sight of the dark forest welcomed me. I could not help but follow him as he walked through the path between the patches of trees.
Bakit parang ito pa rin ang karaniwang panaginip ko? Pareho pa rin ang ginagawa ko at ang ikinaiba lang ay ang lalaking sinusundan ko.
My heart thumped wildly as we got closer. The fear of going in there rushed back at me.
The heat inside me suddenly vanished, replaced by a chill that seeped into my bones. As I reached the entrance of the forest, he disappeared in front of me.
My whole body tensed in place. A breaking of a branch was followed by leaves crunching over what I can assume were human feet.
The 'something' that has been chasing me from behind... is 'someone'.
Another snap came from behind me.
I stared at the darkness in front of me, questioning if what I heard was true. My sweaty palms trembled as I waited for what was next. More snaps neared me and that was when I heard the soft voice I have been waiting for–the one that tells me to run.
I wanted to turn around in place for the voice did not originate from within my thoughts. It surrounded me instead.
He is everywhere.
I took a step forward as my chest tightened.
Nasaan ka?
Every move is familiar. I am doing everything that I have been doing in this dream, but it is only now that I realize the cause of all my actions here. Naglalakad ako noon papunta sa Gubat at dalampasigan dahil sinusundan ko siya.
I was chasing him, and at the same time...someone was chasing me.
I walked on the path, and footsteps followed behind me. I am terrified but I feel safe as well. It is like I know someone is watching over me. I know that he is there even if I cannot see him. He is up ahead and that is where I am going.
"Run," the voice said. I did what it commanded me to do.
My heart skipped a beat as a memory flashed in front of me. It was the sight of this forest but a better and beautiful version of it. Not at all dark and scary like the one I am in right now. It is the one I painted that reminds me of Forest. It was a momentary glitch in the darkness, but it made me more overwhelmed.
The deafening screams I dreaded echoed. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang matantong naiintindihan ko na ang mga isinisigaw sa akin.
"Bitch! Slut!"
"Malandi ka!"
The words stung my whole being. I feel like I have heard all this before, but I do not understand why and when. Who are these people? What did I do to be called these names? Bakit ngayon ko lang naintindihan ang mga sigaw na matagal na akong ginugulo?
My pursuer gripped my hair. I involuntarily screamed and thrashed from getting pulled. Nang makawala ako ay pinagpatuloy ko ang pagtakbo.
I do not want to look back, but I did. The shadow of a person was still chasing me.
What do you want from me?!
"Run."
I gasped as I tripped after hearing his instruction. My head hit the hard ground and blood ran down my face. Pain stabbed my scalp making my head throb from the force. I whimpered as I dragged my body away as much as I can. The scent of iron and salt combined as I struggled.
Ayaw ko na.
My lips trembled and my eyes blurred more. I cannot handle this anymore.
I am tired.
I do not think I can run just like last time. I cannot move my legs. Everything hurts. Even breathing is difficult.
A rustle from the bushes beside me made me face its way. Air got knocked out me as I was pulled up. My eyes opened quickly to see what was happening, but I could not. Everything was a blur around me. Someone was dragging me carefully fast as if this sprint can break me if I was not handled properly.
Shock paired with adrenaline kicked into my body. A loud growl entered my hearing and the sound was enough to make my legs move again. I pulled away from whoever is holding me and ran faster than I have ever done before. The numbness and ache from my lower body made me hiss in pain but I did not want to stop.
I do not know how far I ran when my senses could not feel danger anymore. I slowed my pace.
"Run." Forward, Sophia.
My vision started to spin. My right leg crossed with my left, ankles tangled up with each other, and I let the momentum take its course. I closed my eyes as I accepted my fall.
Someone's arms wrapped around me. What I expected to be ground became muscle. A sob escaped me, and I let myself melt into his form.
I did not pull away because I know it was him. The same warmth and calm from previous nights' dreams pushed through me with his embrace. He held my head in place when I thought of looking up to see who he was, he did not let me. He squeezed me tighter and placed his head on my neck.
I closed my eyes to savor the sensation of being with him. His breath tickled my skin. It made my stomach flip inside out.
Panaginip ko pa ba ito?
He feels so real. Everything feels so real.
I lifted my arms to hug him back. He tensed under my touch.
Why are not you real?
I could not see him clearly as I cried. He moved away to hold my cheeks then wiped away the tears that would not stop from falling. Our foreheads pressed together before he repeated the last words he said from my last dream.
Our surroundings went silent and only the synchronized beating of our hearts could be heard with our distance.
"Whatever you do Sophia, do not stop running."
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